i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize