Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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