call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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