Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
