I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
