Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
