Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
