dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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