I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
