I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Mom said you looked used
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
