So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Only a mothe r could love this liver
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
