Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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