I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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