he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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