oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
