im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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