he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
