1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
