would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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