Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need moral support for this bender
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
