is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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