I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
