Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
