its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
