Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
