Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
