check it out our google latitudes are spooning
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
