all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dear god my vagina.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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