im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
