Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
