it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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