I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize