You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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