I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
