I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
