Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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