So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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