I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
