..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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