But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I want a musical about memes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize