okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
