8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
