I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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