Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
