dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you never un-have a 4some
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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