wake up i wanna do it froggy style
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize