it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This baby is an asshole
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
