Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
