Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
