so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
