The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
