I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
