If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
