Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
