Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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