he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
