She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
