Kiss
Puke
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
