he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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