i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
did i just pee glitter
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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