you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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