No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
