Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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